nowness,

Lovers

A Lover pacing back and forth in the lobby

Having to say goodbye to his wife though not knowing when.

A Lover crying over the phone to a friend

At the loss of the love of her life.

Lovers, coming through the front door

Caressing each other at the news of losing a little one.

“They were so in love and everyone could see it.”

Nowness,

Mourned so much

Worn so much black this past month.

I feel numb now, here, less.

I’m hypersensitive, I want to be present - nowness.

There is a stillness about August

Something impending - waiting to be written about - noticed.

Sadness

Lately going 70 on a 30 makes me feel more at ease.

I can’t tell what I want to escape anymore -

Being drunk or staying sober.

Only awake at night,

Taking vacations hoping I can sleep
Underneath the afternoon sun.

So far away from home.

I’m looking for Pleiades.

I see your photos and I think to myself.

The absence,

The longing,

The missing,

To feel that in any given moment

You’d come around the corner

But you don’t.

Hope your trip back
To eternity isn’t so heavy on your shoulders.

As I drive off on this sunny day

Thinking to myself, searching for a sign

Up to the sky I see a Bald Eagle.

In which symbolizes freedom and moving onward.

(Did you know a Bald Eagle’s wing spans nearly 6 feet?)

6 feet away is as close as we’ll ever be.

Grandma’s grievance sounds like a lullaby.

Holidays without your laughter; you drinking bubblies with your sisters.

My Mother once said food tastes better after you’re done crying because of the salt, lol.

It’s going to only get more sad from here on out.

But I’ve come to realize how beautiful of a thing sadness is.