frank,

took an online assessment
turns out i’m only diagnosed moderately
for depression
so i don’t really know then
why i feel so fucked up.

is it because i love too deep
a little too much.

tried to hold a few loved ones accountable
ended up losing them because they didn’t want to talk.

to be
not heard
not seen enough
really messes you up

the thoughts they swirl and swirl
as i down them one two many times
but they always come back up…

how are you doing?
was asked about you
at an old friend’s party
the only number i remember by heart
would you pick up
if i called at 4 in the morning

the thoughts of you have been formulating more than usual lately
but i know saying hello only invites for more hurting
than healing.

all i ever do is reminisce
and nostalgia kills
so i’ll let go of these old thoughts
we are no longer these lives that made us, us.

con’t.